Camelbak 100oz Trinity Women’s Hydration System (05/08/2010)
Price: $39.99 + $5 shipping

Condition:New
Product:1 Camelbak 100oz Trinity Women's Hydration System

Nothing Against You As A Person, Ms. Lilly
I’m certain this Camelbak 100 oz Trinity Women’s Hydration System could work even better for a man.
A good man. A brave man. A complex man that was worth ten of that whiny, self-interested, moral-less… oh, come on, you know who I mean. IT’S HER. WHY DID SHE LIVE? WHY DID HE DIE? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW WITHOUT HIM THERE TO FIX EVERYTHING? I COULDN’T EVEN BREATHE WHEN I SAW HIM RUN THROUGH THAT DOOR AND- Ahem.

Anyway. If you were a woman, and you were trapped on an island for the second time, and you had a Camelbak 100 oz Trinity Women’s Hydration System with you, you’d have easy access to 100 ounces of water through a PureFlow delivery tube that keeps water fresh and tasting just as good as store-bought bottled water, with no plastic taste. And then, most likely, you could keep all that water for yourself, and watch people who were far better than you slowly die of thirst, because after all, what do you care about other people? You’re living a thrilling life of freedom and escape, causing nothing but misery and death in your wake as you try to define yourself into OH GOD I HATE YOU SO MUCH I HATE YOU SO MUCH! WHY? WHY WASN’T IT YOU? YOU COULD HAVE GRABBED IT AND STAGGERED DRAMATICALLY TO A TORPEDO TUBE AND THREE GOOD PEOPLE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE BUT NOOOOO, YOU’RE TOO SPECIAL TO DIE, YOU’VE GOT TO BE AROUND THE WAY A CAMELBAK 100 OZ TRINITY WOMEN’S HYDTATION SYSTEM IS AROUND: FOREVER HANGING OFF OUR SHOULDERS LIKE AN ALBATROSS. AN ALBATROSS THAT GETS MORE AND MORE ANNOYING EVERY WEEK. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!

Ahem.

Of course, it’s perfectly possible for a man to use this bag, thanks to the way the hipbelt is removable. In fact, a man trained to properly ration his water in a desert army, that sort of man might make a supply of water like this last forever! The HydroGuard technology would inhibit bacterial growth, so there’s no reason why a heroic man couldn’t enjoy a Camelbak 100 oz Trinity Women’s Hydration System. Unless, of course, he was DEAD FOR SOME REASON, REALLY, WHY WAS THAT EVEN SOMETHING THAT HAD TO HAPPEN? BUT OH, NO, WE CAN’T KILL THAT WOMAN, SHE’S GOT SOME MAGICAL AURA EVEN THOUGH SHE JUST WRECKS EVERYBODY’S LIFE OVER AND OVER FOR NO REASON. WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE? WHY? WHYYYYYY?

But, really, for someone who enjoys hiking, traveling, or just carrying around a USELESS BAG OF WATER THAT CAN’T EVEN TAKE CARE OF ITSELF WHY DID THOSE TWO GUYS EVER FIGHT OVER YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE UGH the Camelbak 100 oz Trinity Women’s Hydration System will be perfect. There’s even a little pouch for your sunglasses FOR WHEN YOU NEED THEM TO HIDE FROM THE ACCUSING STARES OF OTHER PEOPLE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

Warranty: 2 Year CamelBak

Features:

■PureFlow™ delivery tube keeps water as fresh as store-bought bottled water; no plastic taste
■HydroGuard™ technology inhibits bacterial growth on reservoir and tube surfaces
■Easy-grip handle and large mouth make filling the reservoir easy
■100 oz (3 L) OMEGA HydroTanium Reservoir with Lifetime Warranty
■Women’s Dynamic Suspension harness curves to the shape of a woman’s body, places sternum strap high across chest and maximizes load stability
■Removable hipbelt wraps around women’s hips for carrying comfort
■Quick access overflow storage with dual compression straps
■Articulated and vented semi-load bearing waist belt for stability
■Fleece-lined sunglasses or MP3 pocket keeps items safe and accessible

Specifications:

■Material: Nylon/Polyester
■Volume: 1,550 Cubic Inches / 25 Liters
■Liquid Capacity: 100 fl. oz. / 3 Liters
■Pockets: 2 + Main Compartment
■Dimensions: 20” x 12” x 11” (510 mm x 305 mm x 280 mm)

Weight:

■Empty: 2.46 lbs. (1.12 kg)
■Full: 8.87 lbs. (3.96 kg)


In the box:

■CamelBak Trinity Women’s Hydration Pack

 

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